october check in

-really dislike my 425 teacher
-also really dislike la driving? stupid hit and run
-super triggering racial microaggressions at christian fellowship
-celebrated esther's bday for first time in person since high school
-have like ten bug bites wtf
-happy about la dates
-things i have been enjoying lately: my magic bullet, my cosrx aha toner, my new backpack, my planner, my allbirds, my rainbows
-found potential church home elsewhere
-also bought more things huehue (lens switcher, video stabilizer, calligraphy pen)
-feel so dumb, woke up late for advisor meeting & sat on my sunglasses blah

september check in

-big bear trip with sd friends
-tweaked my knee
-bought a bunch of stuff from amazon lol (key organizer, acne things, poopourri)
-also bought allbirds and new running shoes and camera backpack and laptop backpack
-moved in most my stuff into apt, roommate is disgusting dirty :(
-here are some adjectives that come to mind when people use their social media platforms (particularly facebook) as a megaphone for their emotions: unlovely, distasteful, shameless, narcissistic, egocentric, repulsive; have some dignity??
-7:28 mi!!!

august check in

-v strange encounter at daiso with tiff and spectrum with siblings
-albert & family since july
-took my cset again lol hope i passed; edit// lol did not
-got pedicures with sister
-helped yolanda with siblings?? was strange. also almost got attacked by a dog
-observed teacher in la, appreciated his carino fueled pedagogy and his faith. also i hate driving in la. and i walked my forehead into a metal gate
-bible studies at wintersburg
-dyed our hair
-with siblings: got the strawberry shortcake again, was not the same :( got overpriced mochi ice creams, watched dunkirk, game nights, visited pavilion park, dinner at the filipino market
-visited sd friends for games and ice cream and korean food
-helped joshua move in to his first apt
-ran 9:33/9:28 for the first time ever!
-biked back bay loop with alicia & sagun
-bought like 5 exposed binding moleskines lol very excited

learning to dream part v

i enjoy reading my old posts. it's simultaneously embarrassing and encouraging, hilarious and grounding. i learn from my old self. it's also a slightly out-of-body experience to reflect on how we experience time in different periods of our lives: during college time was jam packed with events and afterwards, time began to feel outstretched or like a callous impasse. it was only when i learned to set signposts for myself that i began to once again feel like i was moving towards something.

since my last post in 2013 (wow): i have seen a burgeoning movement of christians hungry for a holistic, justice/compassion-minded gospel. i am not going to berkeley for grad school but i am going to ucla where plenty of critically minded scholars are. i haven't gotten a new sony body, but i have added two more lens to my collection. i did get better at bouldering (but i also got injured in 2015 and it became chronic), i did buy a roadbike, and i did run a half marathon.

what do i dream of now? marriage. also a doggo. developing relationships with the ES now coalition, and working to build more ES programs in socal. getting a phd one day to teach ES in cc or university settings. seeing e get his nursing degree(s).

i dream of full recovery of my pip joint injury; i dream that i will not stop running or climbing or biking. i would like to visit as many (or every) national park. my dreams have changed in scope; they have become more career/hobby/marriage oriented. idk if that's good or bad, i think it just is what it is.

nov 2013 part iv
april 2012 part iii
nov 2011 part ii
feb 2011 part i

sidenotes;
this blogspot is kind of like a time capsule.
today's eunice enjoys poke, finally is able to run an almost 8 min mile, has had to deal with a finger injury for over 2 years, has learned a lot about the transience of friendships and also of human character/values, feels more focused than ever on the goals of the next handful of years, enjoys podcasts, can do 8 pull ups, and also enjoys shows like mr. robot, westworld, and legion.

july check in

-pr of 8 pull ups!
-my mile times are getting more consistent yay
-i hit 8:12 mi for the first time ever!
-switched to oneplus phone & also e got me a pebble watch for running
-started @ probation center, my kids are good kiddos and it's sad that i'm leaving soon
-lol cset module 1 attempt 2
-excited for j3 to come home next week
-six flags trip with sd friends

june check in

-tough month bc pip joint injury and wrist injury and arguments
-started running
-j left for his mission trip qq
-started teaching dts class w/ herald
-moving home end of the month
-esther and i saved a birby that flew into the window
-this month i broke the temples of my glasses... twice lmao. first by sitting on them second by standing on them sigh thank god for superglue

may check in

-got a haircut
-picked up brother from berkeley
-friend broke his leg
-did my talk about AsAm identity pt 2
-i think i'm all sorts of insecure about friendships
-sf trip

april check in

source: me

-first red rock trip! worked on monkey bar right v6 and angel dyno left exit v4

-bought our first rope! sport climbing a little more
-all my succulents are dying lol qq
-feeling burnt out with work but june is right around the corner and i'll be done with my difficult site
-looking for housing in la is hard :(
-ayce sushi and beacon park and chipotle with grace & justin
-sd trip! vallartas, del mar beach, boba, board games, dinner at the chius

march check in

source: me

-my new 14mm f1.8 came in
-my instagram got hacked lmao

-five unauthorized purchases on my credit card lmao

-got sick :(

-trying to fix my finger but doctors appts/insurance stuff is really frustrating

february check in

source: me

-the prospect of re-entering the sphere of social engagement feels like "coming home"

-waiting for ucla admissions o m g
-feeling more confident about design! particularly vectorizing hand lettering and using ai properly
-2 more p.e. sessions wat
-I GOT IN!
-pms is a real thing tho so miserable and exhausted

january check in

source - me

-big decisions are really scary? i want to factor and control as many aspects as possible and i don't know when/where to draw some hard lines and just go for it. aka grad school, also lol bc i was doing research about grad school this time last year and it almost feels like i just scrambled around a racetrack and ended where i started
-whenever people give me negative feedback about grad school i feel v uncertain
-but i talked to more people and feel kind of reassured of my own decision lmao

-did my ucla interview huzzah

-love hand lettering
-e started his new job and classes!

december check in

source: me

-it's december! looking forward to close out this year. was tough but learned a lot and i'm relieved this year is coming to a close

-in the beginning of this year, i was desperate to get a better job, to move out, and to figure out what i wanted to do for grad school. by god's grace i have done all three

-some other milestones this year: learned design, started pe counseling, started budgeting monthly and tithing, bought my own laptop, started paying for my own car insurance, was a bridesmaid, ran a half marathon
-spent last couple days with sd friends! hot pot n stuff

november check in

source

-encouraged at the asian american ministry conference by an analogy of the necessary posture/attitude for jazz improvisation/ministry improvisation

-great day in sd @ vh, the chang's, & w/ pnick & nat

-cset was a miserable fail

-finishing grad school app

-finally cold this month

-get to contribute a few paragraphs to the intro of dr. hertig's new academic journal!

-crazy week of design and life's pace picked up unexpectedly bc...

-moooooving out!!

october check in

-short visit to sd to visit efci and harvesters and climb at mesa rim. got regents & baguette bros & infinitea; i miss sd food :<
-took and passed my cbest
-visited la for lax preview climbing event; got some poke and visited esther
-e finishing cna class soon!
-wrote my statement of purpose, studying for cset
-nine years this month? wow

sept check in

-zion trip! hiked angels landing
-started pe counseling
-started my new job
-e started cna training
-anniversary number 3
-bought tenaya iati's
-allergy season, so hot lately :(

august check in

source

-orientation with ocde, site placements assigned too!

-finally got my 35 mm f1.7 lens!
-bought a laptop/camera backpack for my new toys
-steadily strengthening my wrist back to 100%
-dropped off siblings at their schools
-difficult week but transitioning quickly
-impulse bought an eeyore tsum tsum

july check in

source

-grace & justin visited
-started weekly hangouts with youth
-23! such a baby
-bought laptop finally
-bought new prescription glasses and sunglasses finally
-visited pnick & natalie
-sprained wrist :(
-made bruschetta and bibimbap and watermelon smoothies
-what is the purpose and value of waiting?
-i feel like a different person every year

june check in

source

-planted my sucuulents
-last week at bgcgg

-grace & justin's wedding!

-joshua's graduation

-finally got my teeth cleaned at the dentist a year after graduating

-finally got my hives checked out and my doctor was an absolute phony and just prescribed me claritin
-second (third) interview for ocde
-ceramics with joshua and esther
-tsy's wedding
-vbs
-brought joshua to berkeley! visited friends, ici's, mission cliffs, atlas cafe, bjm, dogpatch boulders, algorithm coffee, uc botanical garden, sliver. super restful and enjoyable getaway but missing e and e2

-feel noticeably more adjusted to postgrad life

may check in

source

-ran half marathon
-still have hives :(
-photoshoot for inheritance in the rain
-esther's home for the summer!
-met ethnic studies now organizers and ucla tep students at the raza conference
-got my hair cut!
-took the GRE lol

april check in

source

-pulse check, still alive lol and it's almost may
-ran 10 miles for the first time
-e started his new job!
-steep but short learning curve for photoshop
-#justinlovewithyoo wedding party get together
-taught fnf with e
-my generation's reality is that we need grad degrees to be sustainably employable
-reallocating all my munnies so that i can be wiser with my income
-visited world impact
-weird hives episode :(
-interview!!

march check in

source

-what does it mean to be purposeful day to day?

-adventure playground with e
-america on track maybe idk
-started bgcgg job
-registered to vote
-contacted world impact, scheduled visit
-signed up for gre lol poor
-esther back for break
-almost ran six miles non-stop
-joshua got college acceptance letters
-working towards joining marketing/design team at s1

february check in

source

-what does it mean to be resilient and what does it look like?

-poor this month

-visit sd friends

-interviews and stuff for bgc

-frequently discouraged by life stage

-training for half marathon

-e and i rescued shelby bear :3
-went to cgu info session
-got car back!!!
-ISAAC symposium was encouraging
-UCLA MAT?

january check in

postgrad life experience list: bad work experience? check.

some things this month:

-new job: worked 52 hours/week for the first time, learned about substance abuse, interacted with clients, experienced repercussions of terrible company communication/staff management, sent in first resignation letter ever, drove around costa mesa a lot, have some new outfits in my wardrobe, drove prius/versa/jetta, made a lot of fruit smoothies this month, got a hydroflask from trish, made a lot of cards

-sad i can't move out anytime soon now. wanted to since november. kind of alarming it's already january. idk if time goes by quickly or slowly

-unsure about grad school. where/when/which program

-binge listening to serial podcast

-having a hard time trusting god

-got new free iphone to replace jenky iphone. grateful for that
-need new laptop, bike handlebar tape. impulse bought hiking backpack
-wtf hit and run accident. really scary also really sad for my car :( phone call for interview on the same day.
-family dysfunction and stuff
-signed up for half marathon. need to pay for car insurance

sidenotes;
idk why archival notes of paraphernalia in my life is kind of grounding

letter

source

haven't blogged very often because i feel like i sound stupid. journal entries are scant and few. i also find social media increasingly undesirable and can reflexively hear my tone of voice become more dry and biting with every blog post i write.

dear future me,

hi. it's been six months since i graduated, five months since moving back, five months since working at sender one, two months since i started doing counseling, and one month since i've been rabidly searching for another job and a place to live. someone yesterday who is one year younger than me mentioned that she only has one more semester until she graduated. i feel like i am pushing through dense unforgiving pudding - time moves three times as slowly when i'm not being hurtled through the quarter system.

here are some nonconsequential things this past month: watched star wars vii, it was fun but also anticlimactic. i came home at 1:30am once, it felt nice. my iphone battery is jenky and so is my laptop. have been binge watching jessica jones. i have a new appreciation for functioning, warm jackets, fish tacos, and poke; still not particularly fond of onions though.

here are some more consequential things: i've changed in some ways that i didn't foresee and so have my friendships. i'm learning this is okay, but it feels kind of like peeling off old comfortable clothes and standing naked in the cold. in two years three of my friendship have taken dramatic turns. it is also an everyday struggle to choose joy and choose god; i usually blame it on the shitty toxic environment i live in and have little energy or desire to take responsibility for it. i just want to move out. dating is good, we're going on 2.4 years and looking forward to engagement because it feels like the next natural stage that we're eager to step into. engagement also sometimes feels like an expensive vase in my 22 year old clumsy fat fingers; we are grateful for community in san diego that figuratively/literally ushers us to fellowship/new life experiences with welcome arms. i still project my own timeline onto others though, it's dumb and i need to stop doing it. i usually do it anyways. career-wise, idk wtf i'm doing lol. that's okay too. i'm okay with the uncertainty in this area for some reason; other areas, not so much.

sidenotes;

postgrad slowpoke

source

i can say no. i have the ability to say no. it is my prerogative to say no. i am allowed to say no. i have choices and options. nobody can corner or trap or pressure me into anything unless i let them. if someone throws a tantrum when i say no it is not my fault, it is on them. i am allowed to take care of myself. i do not have to bend over to defer to someone unconditionally. i can step back and turn around and go elsewhere, go wherever i want. all these things are hard to learn and i'm the slowest slowpoke when it comes to learning these things. time moves strangely after graduating

sidenotes;

what do you have for me in january?