a love both fierce & gentle

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"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

"For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:5-7

“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. The was the proof of His love – that He gave that Son, that He let Him to Calvary’s cross, though 'legions of angels' might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.”   Elisabeth Elliot


“To ask that God’s love should be content with us as we are is to ask that God should cease to be God: because He is what He is, His love must, in the nature of things, be impeded and repelled by certain stains in our present character, and because He already loves us He must labour to make us lovable. We cannot wish, in our better moments, that He could reconcile Himself to our present impurities—no more than the beggar maid could wish that King Cophetua should be content with her rags and dirt.” -C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

the standard & goal of His love is holiness. He will stop at nothing. how fiercely our heavenly father loves, & yet how gentle & patient He is!
let everything that i am cause people's gazes to be drawn irresistibly upwards.

sidenotes;

home home home home home

heart of glass

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"Even if it were granted that insurances against heartbreak were our highest wisdom, does God Himself offer them? Apparently not. Christ comes at last to say 'Why hast thou forsaken me?' ... There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. t will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell...

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If your hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it...

"But the question whether we are loving God or the earthly Beloved 'more' is not, so far as concerns our Christian duty, a question about the comparative intensity of two feelings. The real question is, which (when the alternative comes) do you serve, or choose, to put first? To which claim does your will, in the last resort, yield?" -C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

sidenotes;

c.s. lewis is so brilliant

pocket watch

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"'Can you fix it?'

She stood just past the threshold of the shop, her fingers fiddling possessively with a small bronze pocket watch. Smells of all welcoming sorts enveloped her like a coaxing hug: lacquered wood, loose leaf tea, and a hint of rosemary olive oil bread that lingered in the distance.

'Only if you want me to.'

He didn't turn around, preoccupied with his work at hand. The gentle noninvasive chorus of ticks and tocks from the walls and walls of clocks filled the sandalwood air with its sweet, calming sound. His response hung in the air and was not met with any sound of acknowledgment. He put down the petite iron hammer with which he had been fixing a dent in a clock gear and turned around to see a little girl awkwardly stretch out her occupied palms. When he motioned to take the bronze pocket watch, like an injured beast, she started and instinctively clenched her tiny fingers around the chain of the soundless piece of metal.

'Do you want me to?'

She stretched our her palm again only to recoil after a moment's hesitation. She pressed the pocket watch against her chest as if she could somehow absorb it and fix it herself.

'Will you let me?'"

[ emotional quarantine ]

sidenotes;
stumbling through the fray