2.14.2013

heart of glass, concluding remarks

source

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:7

i'm free from you
i'm free from you in me
i'm free-

this is where god has led and i refuse to continue to subjugate myself under unwarranted, obligatory loyalty. any residue of that is simply that: residue. residue of my memories. memories from a year of emotional annihilation and reconstruction. and now i'm tempted to be overwhelmed by the fear that grips my soul, by the contempt that i foresee myself tempted to dabble in. my porcupine spines made of splintered fragments. head first into the beautiful fray, i suppose? God is good. God redeems.

teach me to trust because i forgot again
because as much as i delude myself into thinking i am an emotional stronghold during these transition periods, it seems that i fail to realize how fragile i am. i underestimate the elasticity of heartstrings that can, at any given moment, ice over. perhaps i am more hyper aware than others of our fragility. or perhaps i am an anomaly. third time's the charm?

-to be vulnerable
to be sweetly broken
to be all the while, whole
so joyfully whole

sidenotes;
it is good to be at home -- in the company of hilarious siblings & a wise mother, with an abundance of home cooked foods and the warmth of my enveloping bed
also my mommy just disqualified everything in ten minutes lololol