creator calls forth belonging

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Come, let us bow down in worship,

    let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;

for he is our God

    and we are the people of his pasture,

    the flock under his care.

Psalm 95:6-7

This is what the Lord says—

    he who made you, who formed you in the womb,

    and who will help you:

Do not be afraid, Jacob, my servant,

    Jeshurun,whom I have chosen.

Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord’;

    others will call themselves by the name of Jacob;

still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’

    and will take the name Israel.

Isaiah 44:2, 5

"there is a peculiar presence of grace and glory into which men should never come without the profoundest reverence. We may make bold to come before the immediate presence of the Lord—for the voice of the Holy Ghost in this psalm invites us, and when we do draw near to him we should remember his great goodness to us and cheerfully confess it. Our worship should have reference to the past as well as to the future...

He is ours, and our God; ours, therefore will we love him; our God, therefore will we worship him. Happy is that man who can sincerely believe that this sentence is true in reference to himself. And we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. As he belongs to us, so do we belong to him. 'My Beloved is mine, and I am his.' And we are his as the people whom he daily feeds and protects. Our pastures are not ours, but his; we draw all our supplies from his stores. We are his, even as sheep belong to the shepherd, and his hand is our rule, our guidance, our government, our succour, our source of supply." -Charles Spurgeon

as creator he is worthy of my reverence and worship. his fundamental identity as the creator entails that he is my place of most profound belonging. i am to be wholly his and in his presence all fear must wash away.

lead me

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From the ends of the earth I call to you,

I call as my heart grows faint;

lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Along the iron bound coast of our northern shores, lives are lost because the rocks are inaccessible to the shipwrecked mariner. A clergyman of one of the coast villages has with immense labour cut steps up from the beach to a large chamber, which he has excavated in the chalk cliffs; here many mariners have been saved; they have climbed the rock, which had else been too high for them, and they have escaped. We have heard of late, however, that the steps have been worn away by the storms, and that poor sailors have perished miserably within sight of the refuge which they could not reach, for it was too high for them: it is therefore proposed to drive in iron stanchions, and to hang up chain ladders that shipwrecked mariners may reach the chambers in the rock. The illustration is self interpreting.

Our experience leads us to understand this verse right well, for the time was with us when we were in such amazement of soul be reason of sin, that although we knew the Lord Jesus to be a sure salvation for sinners, yet we could not come at him, by reason of our many doubts and forebodings. A Saviour would have been of no use to us if the Holy Spirit had not gently led us to him, and enabled us to rest upon him. To this day we often feel that we not only want a rock, but to be led to it. With this in view we treat very leniently the half unbelieving prayers of awakened souls; for in their bewildered state we cannot expect from them all at once a fully believing cry. A seeking soul should at once believe in Jesus, but it is legitimate for a man to ask to be led to Jesus; the Holy Spirit is able to effect such a leading, and he can do it even though the heart be on the borders of despair. How infinitely higher that we are is the salvation of God. We are low and grovelling, but it towers like some tall cliff far above us. This is its glory, and is our delight when we have once climbed into the rock, and claimed an interest in it; but while we are as yet trembling seekers, the glory and sublimity of salvation appal us, and we feel that we are too unworthy ever to be partakers of it; hence we are led to cry for grace upon grace, and to see how dependent we are for everything, not only for the Saviour, but for the power to believe on him. -Spurgeon


No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

The devil cannot dye a soul so scarlet in sin but what the blood of Christ can make it white as snow. Satan cannot drive a chosen sheep of Christ so far on the mountains of vanity, or into the deserts of sin, but what the great Shepherd of the sheep can find that sheep, and bring it back again. There is hope for the mart sunken. There is hope for those that grovel, and that sink in the mire The infinite compassion of God can reach them, and the eternal power of God can lift them up. Spurgeon
sidenotes;

1 samuel 29

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1 samuel 17-31 details david & saul's journey; the author intentionally juxtaposes the two men to highlight how they both egregiously fail and get themselves tangled in impossible situations, but they respond differently in where they put their trust. this is what sets them apart from each other -- not because one is intrinsically better than the other, but because one bows to the King in his helplessness. on 1 samuel 29:

"Saul goes off to consult a witch; David strengthens himself in the Lord his God. There is the difference. Saul never seems to repent, never seems to have a heart for God. David does have a heart for God and does repent. David, like most of us, finds that many of his turning points are during times of suffering and sorrow, in the dark times of his life. But in this dark day of David’s life, when he has no one else to turn to, he turns to God.

How does he do it? How does he strengthen himself in the Lord his God? We should note that the author gives us little detail here. He does not give us a formula, a series of fail-proof steps. We live in a day when people want a quick fix with a sure cure, and often by the performance of a set of neatly laid out steps – a formula. In the final analysis, I do not think the Christian life is lived by formulas, but by truths and principles. There are do’s and don’ts, but these are not formulas. Let us note here that David finds his spiritual strength in the Lord his God.

...If David strengthened himself in the Lord, we can probably infer that just as Jonathan did earlier, David must have reminded himself anew of the character of God and the promises of God. If God is who He is, in terms of His character (His attributes), we can be assured that what He promises, He will do. Paul put it this way:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day (2 Timothy 1:12; see also Jude 1:24-25).

...David not only strengthens himself in the Lord, David inquires of the Lord. He seeks after God. He seeks to know the will of God in this situation, and then he does it. How different David is from Saul in this regard. David’s strength then seems to come from contemplating who God is, what He has promised, and what He wants us to do. David may have gotten himself and others into a lot of trouble, due to a foolish decision, but he also turns back to the God to whom he has entrusted himself." source

“Jesus of Nazareth always comes asking disciples to follow him--not merely 'accept him,' not merely 'believe in him,' not merely 'worship him,' but to follow him: one either follows Christ, or one does not. There is no compartmentalization of the faith, no realm, no sphere, no business, no politic in which the lordship of Christ will be excluded. We either make him Lord of all lords, or we deny him as Lord of any.” -Lee Camp

with all that i am, all my messiness and inabilities and stupid ways, i want this. bruised knees, callused feet, eager hands, heart splayed open and life surrendered to the King who reveals himself to me in the word as a God who delights not in my suffering but in my dependence on him, my trust in him, my obedience to his commandments. he delights in rescuing me. [list of god's saving acts]

sidenotes;
i am currently sobered by the enormity of what it means to follow christ and by the narrowness of this path. i feel grief as i think upon people in my life who choose not to surrender and follow. have mercy god.

anchor: a gracious God

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It was a long time, twenty years in all, that the ark remained at Kiriath Jearim, and all the people of Israel mourned and sought after the Lord. And Samuel said to the whole house of Israel, "If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hands of the Philistines." So the Israelites put away their Baals and Ashtoreths, and served the Lord only. And Samuel said, "Gather all Israel to Mizpah, and I will pray to the LORD for you." So they gathered together at Mizpah, drew water, and poured it out before the LORD. And they fasted that day, and said there, "We have sinned against the LORD."

When the Philistines heard that Israel had assembled at Mizpah, the rulers of the Philistines came up to attack them. And when the Israelites heard of it, they were afraid because of the Philistines...that day the Lord thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines. 1 Samuel 7:2-7, 10b

d. Drew water, and poured it out before the LORD: In this context a ceremonial pouring of water demonstrated the soul poured out before the LORD. It was an expression of emptiness and need.

i. The Chaldean translation of this passage gives this sense well: "They poured out their hearts like water in penance before the Lord." "They seemed to say in effect, We could wish to shed as many tears for our sins as there are drops of water in this bucket; but because we cannot do this, behold, we do what we can." (Trapp)

ii. They expressed the same heart as Lamentations 2:19: Arise, cry out in the night, at the beginning of the watches; pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.

e. And they fasted that day, and said there, "We have sinned against the LORD." Israel also expressed their sorrow over their sin by fasting (a message that nothing else really mattered except getting right with God) and by confession (a straightforward claim of guilt and responsibility).

i. 1 John 1:5-10 makes it clear that confession is vital to maintain relationship with God. As God convicts us of sin or sins that hinder fellowship with Him, we must confess it and receive forgiveness and cleansing for our relationship with God to continue without hindrance.

i. Our feelings of confidence can deceive us. In 1 Samuel 4:5 Israel was completely confident against the Philistines but their confidence was false and they were soon defeated. Here, Israel is fearful and sure of defeat and they have no confidence at all. They seemed to have more faith when they trusted in the ark than when they are humble and repentant before the LORD. But small faith in the true and living God is more powerful than strong faith in a lie. source

friend of God

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"God is his friend, as appears by his early love to him, his choice of him, and provisions of grace for him; by sending his son to save him; by visiting him, not only in a way of providence, but of grace; by disclosing his secrets, showing his covenant to him, and by making him his heir, and a joint heir with Christ.

Christ is his friend, as is evident from his visiting him at his incarnation; and in a spiritual way, by the communication of his secrets to him; by his hearty counsel and faithful reproofs; by his undertaking and doing for him what he has; and especially by suffering and dying in his room and stead. 

The Holy Spirit is his friend, which he has shown by discovering to him his woeful estate by nature, and the way of salvation by Christ; by working all his works in him; by acting the part of a Comforter to him; by revealing divine things to him, by helping him under all his infirmities; by making intercession for him according to the will of God; and by making him meet for eternal glory and happiness

angels are his friends, as is plain by their well pleasedness with the incarnation of Christ for men; and which they express at their conversion; by their ministering to them, their protection of them, and the good offices they do them both in life and at death; and saints are friends to one another

and such should show themselves friendly to God, their covenant God and Father; by frequently visiting him at the throne of grace; by trusting in him; by a carefulness not to offend, but please him; and by a close and faithful adherence to his cause and interest: to Jesus Christ their Redeemer, by a ready obedience to his commands; by owning and using him as their friend; by taking notice of his friends, and showing them respect, his ministers and poor saints; by cleaving to him, and renouncing the friendship of his enemies: and likewise to the Holy Spirit, by not grieving, quenching, and despising him; but by making use of him, and giving up themselves to his influence and direction; and by acknowledging him as the author of all their grace: also to angels, by speaking well of them, owning their good offices, and reckoning it an honour that they are come and joined to such a company; and to the saints, by Christian conversation with them, by sympathizing with them in all conditions, by hearty counsel, faithful reproofs and admonitions, and by helping them in every distress, inward and outward."
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your kindness leads me to repentance. it rests lightly and sweetly upon my soul. it soothes my inclinations towards strife and agitation, it silences the static dissonance that strains and threatens to interrupt the praise in my heart. your kindness is clean, simple, deep, rich, resolute, and gentle.

sidenotes;

outpouring

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And Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD. Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.” Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.” And she said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the LORD.” 1 Samuel 1:18

"b. I have poured out my soul before the LORD: This is exactly what Hannah needed to do. Instead of keeping the bitterness of soul and the anguish in her heart, she poured it out of her soul before the LORD.

d. Her face was no longer sad: The change in Hannah’s countenance shows that she received the promise with faith, something necessary if we will inherit the promises of God (Hebrews 6:12).

i. Hannah shows how we can regain the joy of fellowship in the house of the LORD again: by pouring out our heart before the LORD and by, receiving His word with faith.

c. It came to pass in the process of time: It didn’t happen right away. Hannah had reason enough to be discouraged, but when the promise of God came, she did not lose faith in the promise, even when it took some time. She is a great example of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises (Hebrews 6:12).

i. 'So the meaning is, That although her husband knew her conjugally at his return, and God was mindful of her, and intended in his time to give her his blessing, yet she did not conceive at first, but after some days or time afterwards.' (Poole)" -Source

sidenotes;

i want to be tender, gentle, & warm, in alignment with the joy i have to unceremoniously pour the contents of my soul into the palms of my sweet King. but i am shortsighted, i am rough and short and cold and i lack. i can be pretentious and contemptuous and self-oriented and it is the most distasteful toxic thing in my heart, i hate it. i see it, i hate it; let me stay in the safe waters of disgusted awareness a little while longer. here i am safe as his grace breaks me to pieces

oxygen of kingdom citizens

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Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

"The instruction in this text should not be lifted from its context...in the Sermon and abused...God [is not] a celestial slot machine. Pull the handle enough times in prayer, be persistent, and you will get what you want! Such thinking is entirely wrong! A text without a context is a pretext. Isolating this text from its setting in the Sermon on the Mount is deadly. The broad context of the Sermon sets down the surpassing righteousness, humility, sincerity, purity, and love expected of those who are members of the kingdom of God. These virtues are beyond human attainment apart from God's grace. The broad context underscores our need. In the immediately preceding context (vv. 1-6) Jesus has shown us the danger of condemning other people as if we were judges. He also has told us to get the plank out of our own eye before we attempt to remove a speck from someone else's. His warning is, 'For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you' (v. 2). This standard is terrifying. Who is adequate for such things? How can we live up to such a high standard? We need to be cleansed. We need help and grace, but from where? Jesus answers, 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you' (v. 7). This famous text is not carte blanche for our material desires. Rather, it tells us how to pray for the character of the kingdom in our lives. -Kent Hughes

There are at least three things that hinder us from going deeper in prayer. The first is the sneaking suspicion that prayer doesn’t matter. It’s easy to fall into a kind of fatalism that says 'God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do.' So we stop praying because we think nothing will change. Then there is the fear that we won’t pray in the 'right' way, that we won’t use the correct words or we won’t use the right formula and that God therefore won’t even bother to hear what we say. Finally most of us struggle with the little voice inside that tells us we’ve got more important things to do. Prayer is good but we need to get on with the 'real business' of the day. So we don’t pray as we ought or as we would like. Ray Pritchard

Ask (aiteo) means to ask for with urgency, even to the point of demanding. Aiteo more frequently suggests attitude of a suppliant means to makes a humble, earnest plea or entreaty), the petitioning of one who is lesser in position than he to whom the petition is made. To ask means to to call on for an answer, which indicates that we believe there is someone (our Father) listening. It also implies that we expect Him to answer or otherwise why ask?

Seek (zeteo) means to attempt to learn something by careful investigation or searching,  to desire to have or experience something or to try to obtain something from someone. Seeking is asking plus acting, implying earnest petitioning coupled with an active endeavoring to fulfill needs.

Knock (krouo) means to rap at a door for entrance and thus implies an even greater and more repetitive intensity than either asking or seeking. The English word "knock" comes from German word meaning to press!...The idea might imply praying in the face of difficulty and even resistance. If you knock like this, your desire for entrance must be very great indeed.

Note the ascending degree of intensity from asking then to seeking and finally to overtly knocking! Each of these verbs is in the present imperative, which is a command to do each of these activities continually. Jesus is calling for persistence in prayer. Prayer is as necessary to us as oxygen to our life. Prayer is the lifeline for citizens of the Kingdom of heaven who are still on earth and as such it expresses our continued dependence on Him as we beseech Him for the grace and power to live the supernatural life of surpassing righteousness that Jesus has described in this Sermon. In order to live out the righteousness we must ask and keep asking, seek and keep seeking and knock and keep knocking.

Kingdom citizens persist in desiring that the character, ambitions, attitudes, and behavior that Jesus called for be shown consistently in our lives. Yet we realize how impossible this is given our weaknesses, our propensity for sin, and our lack of power to obey (we have not forgotten the first Beatitude – 'blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven'). So our Lord tells us to call upon the God of the impossible! In other words, what Jesus has commanded in attitude, ambition, behavior, and deed cannot be done apart from persistent, ongoing, regular, faithful prayer.

Asking suggests dependence; seeking suggests yearning; knocking suggests persistence.

The potency of prayer has subdued the strength of fire, it has bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the fates of heaven, assuaged diseases, dispelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. There is (in it) an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother of a thousand blessings! Beloved do I really believe this? Better yet do I really believe what Jesus promises to those who ask, seek and knock? My (and your) answer to this question will not be evidenced by a simple 'yes' or 'no' but by the 'calluses (or lack of) on our knees' so to speak!)"

Matthew 7:7-8 Commentary

i ask because i lack the capacity to obey you. because i feel the wayward and chaotic strains of my wandering heart that is prone to leave the god i love. i ask because you are my heavenly father and you look at me and see your treasured, precious daughter. i seek because i can't see in the dark, because i am desperate and recognition of my need has driven me from a posture of asking to movement - left, right, up, down: the answer must exist therefore i am seeking. i am knocking because i have found the source but it is hidden from me behind the kindness of your wooden doors which say "wait." but it's there, behind closed doors, and i will knock in a manner of expectancy and eagerness and hope characteristic of a daughter who knows she is loved by her father. i will knock because you promised to open the doors and because i am loved by my king who delights in me, who delights in fulfilling his promises to me, who delights in giving gifts to me as he molds me into christ's likeness. give me battered and callused and bruised knees.

sidenotes;
into the fray

object of my hope

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"ruth 1:13

ii. If Naomi was bitter or angry against God, she probably would have gone another way - further from the God of Israel, rather than back to Him. Instead, she showed that she trusted the sovereignty of God, and knew that despite her personal calamities, He is a good God who blesses.

iii. What Naomi could not see is that the hand of the LORD would go out for her shortly! There is never reason for us to despair if we believe the hand of the LORD has gone out against me. If we will return to Him, His hand will go out for us again! Naomi had no idea - not the slightest - of how greatly God was going to bless her in a short time.

ruth 1:21

d. The Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me . . . the LORD has brought me home again empty . . . the LORD has testified against me: Naomi was not afraid to see the hand of God in all her calamity.

i. Naomi knew that the tragedy that came into her life was not because of fate, chance, or blind fortune. She felt the tragedies were an example of God’s affliction because she could not see the end of His plan. But she knew there was a sovereign God of heaven, and didn’t think she had just run into a string of “bad luck.”

ii. Yet, in the midst of all these bitter circumstances, Naomi was not bitter against the LORD. We can imagine one of the villagers asking, “Naomi, if God has dealt very bitterly with you, if the LORD has brought you home empty, if the LORD has testified against you, then why have you come back?” And she would have said, “Because I want to get right with Him again. Things have been terrible, and the answer isn’t in going further from God, but in drawing closer to Him.”

iii. Not everyone reacts to trials the way Naomi did. “Many are humbled, but not humble; low, but not lowly. These have lost the fruit of their afflictions . . . and are therefore most miserable.” (Trapp)

ruth 2:1

ii. Sometimes we justify wrong choices because of difficult circumstances. But God will strengthen us, and bless us, to make the right choice, even in difficult circumstances.

ruth 2:2-3

ii. Many times when we are really walking in the Spirit, we can only see the invisible hand of God by looking back. If we spend too much time trying to look for His hand ahead of us, we can make problems for our self." Guzik commentary

"I've always found it curious that this proclamation of the Lord's never-ceasing and ever-new mercies and faithfulness is nested in the context of lament over God's sending Israel into exile for her unfaithfulness. This last year, as we studied Judges and saw how even God's punishment of Israel for her idolatry was a reflection of his faithfulness to the covenant he made with his people, and a consequence of his lovingly acting for their good and his glory, I was reminded of the daily faithfulness of God and newness of his mercies. And it strikes me that the context of this passage is a perfect reflection of God's faithfulness in every season.

Thank God that he is a living and active God, whose love and mercy never come to an end, even in meting out just punishment, as he is ever faithful to his character, to his Word. Therefore I will hope in him." -pnick

if i could only see. if i could squeeze hope out of my bones, wash off the fear that clings to my skin, throw it at the obstinate blankness which lingers in my path. where is your redemption in families? vision? obedience? surrender? sacrifice? if i cry out for a fortune telling will you instead increase my faith? i guess there is no hope in my bones, and that's why i must desperately stake all of me in a hope outside of me. i ask because i lack. i'm asking, i'm seeking, i'm knocking.

sidenotes;
ahm nitty gritty
on another note, i am presently feeling particularly affectionate of my dearest friends ahhhh

cities of refuge

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"· Both Jesus and the cities of refuge are within easy reach of the needy person; they were of no use unless someone could get to the place of refuge.
· Both Jesus and the cities of refuge are open to all, not just the Israelite; no one needs to fear that they would be turned away from their place of refuge in their time of need.
· Both Jesus and the cities of refuge became a place where the one in need would live; you didn’t come to a city of refuge in time of need just to look around.
· Both Jesus and the cities of refuge are the only alternative for the one in need; without this specific protection, they will be destroyed.
· Both Jesus and the cities of refuge provide protection only within their boundaries; to go outside means death.
· With both Jesus and the cities of refuge, full freedom comes with the death of the High Priest."
d.guzik

sidenotes;
relearning rest as a radical rebellion to the world's demands for attention, to the flesh's feverish whining that i'm being left behind. relearning rest as a revolutionary, deliberate act of trusting God and allowing him the space to prove himself faithful. i'm blithely amused that rest comes to counterintuitively to us.. 

EDIT// it is friday, and in the spirit of remembering His faithfulness, here is what i have accomplished this week by His sustaining and empowering grace:
-two midterms
-three late nights, one all nighter
-finished stupid bureaucratic online form for prison nation art exhibit
-finished essays for summer internship
-got two of the best ethn professors to say yes to rec letters
-planted my succulents

renewal

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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

People no longer ask “Is it true?” but “Does it work?” and “How will it make me feel?” Those latter two questions serve as a working definition of truth in our society that rejects the concept of absolute divine truth. Truth is whatever works and produces positive emotions. Sadly, such pragmatism and emotionalism has crept even into theology. The church is often more concerned about whether something will be divisive or offensive than whether it is biblically true...Too many people go to church not to think or reason about the truths of Scripture, but to get their weekly spiritual high; to feel that God is still with them. Such people are spiritually unstable because they base their lives on feeling rather than on thinking...Salvation involves the transformation of the mind. -Macarthur 

Meditation is the activity of calling to mind, and thinking over, and dwelling on, and applying to oneself, the various things that one knows about the works and ways and purposes and promises of God...It is an activity of holy thought, consciously performed in the presence of God, under the eye of God, by the help of God, as a means of communion with God. -J.I. Packer 

Satan wants to turn your mind into a cesspool and have your mind occupied with that which ultimately must corrupt, defile, and spoil the whole body, distort the life, and produce sin. The battle is not first in the field of action; it is in the field of thought. Transport yourself to the pasture, consider the cow chewing her cud, and learn that lesson from nature that the psalmist learned. Your delight must be in the Word of God, and in His Word you must chew your cud day and night. If the battle is lost, it is lost because you do not meditate on “ these things.” J.D. Pentecost

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in my journey of introspection and prayer, i have always been stubbornly inclined towards the framing question, "why?" i ponder about something for hours which become days (and eventually i surprise myself with the realization that months have passed and i have not given this issue rest). i wonder at why i react the way i do to certain situations, to people; i wonder whether my reactions have any credibility, what they say about me, what they say about God's work in my life. it is a knee jerk reaction and i find that it is a wonderful process of sifting through all that is in my mind to discover truth which i can embrace. sometimes though, i am distracted by the goal of finding an emotionally satisfying answer to these "why" questions that i become frustrated and dwell obsessively upon the lack of a conclusive discovery that can shed light upon the whole process.

i am learning that my inner life is never as linear or logical as i would like it to be; it is not an input-output system. it gets messy & that's okay. i can bring these messy things to my Father and have Him shed light and untangle in due time. in the meantime, i can content my soul with the captivating work of dwelling in Him.

sidenotes;
mmmm, yes. :)

2 kings 13

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Now when Elisha had fallen sick with the illness of which he was to die, Joash king of Israel went down to him and wept before him, crying, “My father, my father! The chariots of Israel and its horsemen!” And Elisha said to him, “Take a bow and arrows.” So he took a bow and arrows. Then he said to the king of Israel, “Draw the bow,” and he drew it. And Elisha laid his hands on the king's hands. And he said, “Open the window eastward,” and he opened it. Then Elisha said, “Shoot,” and he shot. And he said, “The Lord's arrow of victory, the arrow of victory over Syria! For you shall fight the Syrians in Aphek until you have made an end of them.” And he said, “Take the arrows,” and he took them. And he said to the king of Israel, “Strike the ground with them.” And he struck three times and stopped. Then the man of God was angry with him and said, “You should have struck five or six times; then you would have struck down Syria until you had made an end of it, but now you will strike down Syria only three times.” 2 Kings 13:14-19

"ii. Elisha clearly asked Joash to do something that modeled prayer.

·       Shooting the arrows required effort and aim.
·       Shooting the arrows required instruction and help from the prophet of God.
·       Shooting the arrows had to be done through an open window.
·       Shooting the arrows had to be done without knowing the exact outcome ahead of time. The target was only fully known by faith.
·       Shooting the arrows was ineffective because it was not repeated enough, reflecting a lack of confidence in the process.
·       Shooting the arrows had its strategic moment, and when that moment passed it was gone.
·       Failing to shoot the arrows hurts others, not only our self.


ii. There are many situations in which we should keep “shooting the arrows,” but we content ourselves with a small effort. “He should have continued smiting till the prophet had said, Enough.” (Trapp)

·       Keep shooting in the battle against sin.
·       Keep shooting in the attainment of Christian knowledge.
·       Keep shooting in the attainment of faith.
·       Keep shooting to do more for the kingdom of God.
·       Keep shooting because the world, the flesh, and the devil will not stop their shooting."

source

sidenotes;
hohum
i got a soy latte and they wrote "yudith" in it; is it because i have bad projection and/or poor enunciation or is everyone deaf or do baristas not know how to spell or wat
also why are all the baristas at perk's mean poopfaces; how did they even get their jobs
jamba juice people made my day
unnecessarily tripping out over a haunting silhouette that i am simultaneously grateful and disappointed to misidentify
i would like to give my siblings smothering hugs

2 kings 2 & 3

source

"The company of the prophets at Jericho went up to Elisha and asked him, 'Do you know that the Lord is going to take your master from you today?'

'Yes I know...as surely as the Lord lives and as [Elijah lives], I will not leave [him].' So the two of them walked on...

Elijah took his cloak, rolled it up and struck the water with it. the water divided to the right and to the left, and the two of them crossed over on dry ground. When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, 'Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?'

'Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,' Elisha replied." 2 Kings 2

“And when you have got their mantle, do not waste precious time in lamentations about them any more; get to your business. There is a river in your way; what then? Well, go to the Jordan as the prophet Elisha did, and try to pass it. Say not, ‘Where is Elijah?’ but ‘Where is the Lord God of Elijah?’ Elijah is gone, but his God is not; Elijah has gone away, but Jehovah is present, still.” Spurgeon

i want to be characterized by elisha's devotion to elijah, by his heart's desire to thoroughly engross himself in the Kingdom work that elijah's life so powerfully embodied, by his active picking up of the mantle.

the passage reminds me of the spirit's movement among mulberry trees, and how the troops were to "stir themselves" to action.

And he said, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Make this valley full of ditches.’ For thus says the LORD: ‘You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.’ And this is a simple matter in the sight of the LORD; He will also deliver the Moabites into your hand. Also you shall attack every fortified city and every choice city, and shall cut down every good tree, and stop up every spring of water, and ruin every good piece of land with stones.”

"i. 'The dried up river bed was to have many trenches (Hebrew ‘trenches trenches’) dug to retain the flash flood.' (Wiseman) 

ii. When the kings returned from their visit to Elijah and told their commanders to have the men dig ditches, it must have been hard to hear. Thirsty, near-dead men in the middle of the desert don’t look forward to the hard work of digging ditches in dry ground. Yet this work was essential. 

iii. This demonstrates the principle that God wants us to prepare for the blessing He wants to bring. Listening to Him, we are to anticipate His working and to get ready for it... 

v. 'If we expect to obtain the Holy Spirit’s blessing, we must prepare for his reception. ‘Make this valley full of trenches’ is an order which is given me this morning for the members of this church; make ready for the Holy Ghost’s power; be prepared to receive that which he is about to give; each man in his place and each woman in her sphere, make the whole of this church full of trenches for the reception of the divine water-floods.' (Spurgeon) 

The kings came to Elisha inquiring about water. God wanted to give them more than their immediate need. God wanted to give them more than immediate provision; He wanted to give them complete victory over their enemies."

source

 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-13

take off AND put on.

sidenotes;
alskdfj praise!
the Spirit makes me bold.

elijah

source

1 Kings 17

"At this crucial time in the history of Judah and Israel, the Prophet Elijah suddenly appeared."

God led Elijah from his homeland, Tishbe, to Jezreel, where he was to pronounce a drought to the wicked King Ahab. & once Elijah's life was in danger for doing so, God led him to the brooks of Cherith where he was trained in communion with God, dependence on God's provision, and humility towards the vehicle of God's provisions (because God used a raven, a culturally disdained creature, to feed Elijah.)

"We must not be surprised, then, if sometimes our Father says: 'There, child, thou hast had enough of this hurry, and publicity, and excitement; get thee hence, and hide thyself by the brook - hide thyself in the Cherith of the sick chamber; or in the Cherith of disappointed hopes; or in the Cherith of bereavement; or in some solitude from which the crowds have ebbed away.'" (Meyer)

and then the brooks dried up.

"Why does God let them dry? He wants to teach us not to trust in His gifts but in Himself. He wants to drain us of self, as He drained the apostles by ten days of waiting before Pentecost. He wants to loosen our roots ere He removes us to some other sphere of service and education. He wants to put in stronger contrast the rive of throne-water that never dries." (Meyer)

so God led him to Zarephath to find an exceedingly poor widow to feed him. this requires faith on both ends: 1) Elijah needed faith to trust that God would indeed provide through this poor widow (who didn't even have firewood in a period of abundant wood b/c the drought did not effect it) and 2) the widow, a gentile woman, needed faith to prioritize feeding Elijah, a jewish man, over her own son in whom she had placed all of her hope of surviving in the future.

"She must be a woman of faith; she must make the little cake first, and afterwards she shall have the multiplication of the meal and of the oil. So the grace of God does not choose men to sleep and wake up in heaven, nor choose them to live in sin and find themselves absolved at the last; nor choose them to be idle and go about their own worldly business, and yet to win a reward at the last for which they never toiled. Ah, no! the sovereign electing grace of God chooses us to repentance, to faith, and afterwards to holiness of living, to Christian service, to zeal, to devotion." (Spurgeon)

Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid...the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'the jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land.'" 1 Kings 17:13-14

& then her son died. all of her hope in a single moment, destroyed. so Elijah took her dead son and prayed over him:

"A prayer full of powerful arguments. Thou art the Lord, that canst revive the child; and my God, and therefore wilt not, do not, deny me. She is a widow; add not affliction to the afflicted; deprive her not of the great support and staff of her age. She hath given me kind entertainment; let her not fare the worse for her kindness to a prophet, whereby wicked men will take occasion to reproach both her and religion." (Poole)

what strikes me as particularly beautiful about this story is that the obstacles come one at a time, and God leads accordingly. He didn't give Elijah a master life map but rather led him from place to place with purpose at each location. God used the unexpectedly weak to humble and provide for Elijah. & as Elijah and the widow acted in faith, God responded with gracious provision. He is so good.

-source

sidenotes;
as;ldkjfa;e praise.

mephibosheth

source

on 2 samuel 9; david & mephibosheth

"i. David’s grace to Mephibosheth is a wonderful picture of God’s grace to us. We are Mephibosheth.

·        We are hiding, poor, weak, lame, and fearful before our King comes to us
·        We are separated from our King because of our wicked ancestors
·        We are separated from our King because of our deliberate actions
·        We separated ourselves from the King because we didn't know him or His love for us
·        Our King sought us out before we sought Him
·        The King's kindness is extended to us for the sake of another
·        The King's kindness is based on covenant
·        We must receive the King's kindness in humility
·        The King returns to us what we lost in hiding from Him
·        The King returns to us more than what we lost in hiding from Him
·        We have the privilege of provision at the King's table
·        We are received as sons at the King's table, with access to the King and fellowship with Him
·        We receive servants from the King
·        The King's honor does not immediately take away all our weakness and lameness, but it gives us a favor and standing that overcomes its sting and changes the way we think about ourselves

ii. David's grace to Mephibosheth is also a pattern for us in serving and ministering to others. We are David.

·        We should seek out our enemies and seek to bless them
·        We should look for the poor, weak, lame, and hidden to bless them
·        We should bless others when they don't deserve it, and bless them more than they deserve
·        We should bless others for the sake of someone else
·        W must show the kindness of God to others"
source

sidenotes;

mulberry trees

source

And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then rouse yourself, for then the LORD has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines. 2 Samuel 5:24


"As the Rabbis have it, and it is a very pretty conceit if it be true, the footsteps of angels walking along the tops of the mulberry trees make them rustle; that was the sign for them to fight, when God’s cherubim were going with them, when they should come, who can walk through the clouds and fly through the air, led by the great Captain himself, walking along the mulberry trees, and so make a rustle by their celestial footsteps...

There are times, you know, 'when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees.' You have a peculiar power in prayer; the Spirit of God gives you joy and gladness; the Scripture is open to you; the promises are applied; you walk in the light of God's countenance, and his candle shines about your head; you have peculiar freedom and liberty in devotion; perhaps you have got less to attend to in the world and more closeness of communion with Christ than you used to have. Now is the time; now, when you hear the 'sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees.' Now is the time to bestir yourselves; now is the time to get rid of any evil habit that still remains now is the season in which God the Spirit is with you." -Spurgeon

"How is it that such supernatural directions and assistance are not communicated now? Because they are not asked for; and they are not asked for because they are not expected; and they are not expected because  men have not faith; and they have not faith because they are under a refined spirit of atheism  and have no spiritual intercourse with their Maker." -Adam Clarke

"-Do not murmur at your busyness or the shortness of time, but buy up the time all around.
-Never exaggerate duties by seeming to suffer under the load, but treat all responsibilities as liberty and gladness.
-Never call attention to crowded work or trivial experiences.
-Before confrontation or censure, obtain from God a real love for the one at fault. Know the facts; be generous in your judgment. Otherwise, how ineffective, how unintelligible or perhaps provocative your well-intentioned censure may be.
-Never allow yourself to be placed in favorable contrast with anyone.
-Archbishop Benson" -Spiritual Leadership, J. Oswald Sanders

sidenotes;
mm it is good to be back in sd

it helps in all circumstances to remember how God sees me: He sees me not just in 2013, but throughout my whole life. He sees all the change and sees me as a perfect bride, made perfect for eternal fellowship with Him via a lifelong of sanctification by discipline and guidance from His loving hands.

peets hibiscus tea, john mayer, sociology + lit reading on a crisp sunday afternoon :)