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how can you tell me i am sinning when i feel my throat closing, my insides turning, my head throbbing -- all because i cannot understand physics? how is that sinning? is depression sin? is grief sin? is frustration sin?
i must be missing something here. tell me where i got it wrong.
does being upset & frustrated equate to discontentment and thus to sinning? is anxiety a sin? how do i emotionally give praise to You in times of frustration? is that even reasonable? to what extent are we willing doers of evil and thus entirely responsible for sin? to what extent are we passive victims of the curse of sinfulness? is it necessary to ponder the extent of responsibility if we entirely deserve His righteous wrath? do we really consist of two natures warring against each other? is there some sort of percentage bar that shows increasing godliness as we are more conformed into His image, and is there an accompanying decreasing bar for sinfulness?
how can you tell me i am sinning when i feel my throat closing, my insides turning, my head throbbing -- all because i cannot understand physics? how is that sinning? is depression sin? is grief sin? is frustration sin?
i must be missing something here. tell me where i got it wrong.
/merely rambling
sidenotes;
it's week 10 and i've already lost a large portion of my already dwindling motivation
things to ponder:
"show me your glory" exodus 33
"make a snake and put it on a pole, and whoever looks at it will live" numbers 21
"instead, speak the truth in love so that we may grow up in all things in Him who is Head, that is Christ" eph 4:15
eagerly desire spiritual gifts?
lord may this heartbreaking compassion not become a burden
still on my to read list: cost of discipleship by bonhoeffer, mirrored reflections by chloe sun, let me be a woman by elisabeth elliot, freedom + boundaries by kevin deyoung, prayer by richard j foster
i just made my mommy's signature chinese sesame + ginger chicken noodle soup & am savoring it while listening to sway by carissa rae/michael alvarado, christmas song by jayesslee, & let it snow by gabe bondoc/kina grannis -- i would rather be learning guitar chords, cooking, writing stories, & drawing rather than doing this physics homework on this crisp december afternoon in ever sunny la jolla. it sure would be nice to share this moment with someone. with you. there are so many people i miss. i miss home. there are heavier things weighing on my heart, heavier things i am unsure of how to articulate; but there is a lingering light on the horizon of a hope of good things to come. show me your glory.
sidenotes;
it's week 10 and i've already lost a large portion of my already dwindling motivation
things to ponder:
"show me your glory" exodus 33
"make a snake and put it on a pole, and whoever looks at it will live" numbers 21
"instead, speak the truth in love so that we may grow up in all things in Him who is Head, that is Christ" eph 4:15
eagerly desire spiritual gifts?
lord may this heartbreaking compassion not become a burden
still on my to read list: cost of discipleship by bonhoeffer, mirrored reflections by chloe sun, let me be a woman by elisabeth elliot, freedom + boundaries by kevin deyoung, prayer by richard j foster
i just made my mommy's signature chinese sesame + ginger chicken noodle soup & am savoring it while listening to sway by carissa rae/michael alvarado, christmas song by jayesslee, & let it snow by gabe bondoc/kina grannis -- i would rather be learning guitar chords, cooking, writing stories, & drawing rather than doing this physics homework on this crisp december afternoon in ever sunny la jolla. it sure would be nice to share this moment with someone. with you. there are so many people i miss. i miss home. there are heavier things weighing on my heart, heavier things i am unsure of how to articulate; but there is a lingering light on the horizon of a hope of good things to come. show me your glory.
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