give grace

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this weekend i listened to a cacophony of frogs as i tossed & turned in a crowded tent; i also suspect that there was a half squished bee underneath where my pillow was. i jumped at the sight of anything resembling a spider and stifled gags when i had to step into the state park's restroom. i watched the girls faithfully do their makeup routine in the morning & at night, feeling that familiar clamor of confusion poking at me, starting with the question, "what's wrong with me?" & ending with the revisiting conclusion of psalm 139. i read wonderfully mind-blowing excerpts from a.w. tozer's "pursuit of god" (i'm so excited to read it in its full!!), made an improvised version of a strawberry muddle smoothie, and was amazed to see that my bangs were intact in the morning after a day of not showering. i also witnessed a diverse array of fears and watched as the leaders displayed a heartwarming effort to remain together. i ate the most delicious salmon sandwich i have ever had and laughed until my abs hurt at one of the guys' korean dad impression. i stopped by thousand oaks (land of my discipler!) & ate korean bbq in ktown (land of my roomie!). i was visited by one of my migraines that grew increasingly worse as i watched people get disgruntled, myself included (no doubt a result of exhaustion); the kbbq place with neon spotlights and loud kpop did not help, although i did have a nice bewildered laugh to myself when i met two girls in the restroom dressed in club attire who complimented my dusty sneakers and asked if i spoke english when i didn't answer 'cause i didn't know they were talking to me.

if there's anything i've learned this weekend, it's that we sorely need to show each other grace. we are each of us bundles of insecurities and limited patience. how swift are we to cry injustice & demand grace while righteously stabbing our pointing finger into the air, & yet how slow are we to dispense it freely to others.

sidenotes;
today my brother asked insightfully, "are you in human hibernation mode?" & my sister asked what they could do to help me recover. they are sweet (: we biked up ridgeline to suicide hill, went to strickland's for milkshake monday, & went to cha for tea (thai tea with soy milk & no sugar mm!) i also discovered that cha for tea uses fructose. boo. ): no more cha for me.