how do i draw the line between being content knowing that God will lead me through each lesson/trial in my life, and being so content that i plateau and disregard the need to actively seek after Him daily?
i worded that awkwardly. :/
how do i ask for forgiveness if i feel like i'm always fighting -- like it's a glitchy default setting of my proud, proud heart to refuse to feel remorse? what am i supposed to do if that room in hallways of my heart has become icy & callused?
if i'm asking these questions, does that mean i'm doubting the power of the holy spirit?
largely rhetorical, but for the sake of my exasperation (& my amusement at myself), imma ask anyways -- why are children so shallow? in fact, why are we so shallow? the other day, a little girl at the park chose another girl to be her partner over me. i automatically assumed it was because the other girl was prettier. and then i mentally slapped myself for being retarded & even thinking that. because sometimes i can be stupid.
furthermore -- why is our culture (primarily american, specifically CA, even more specifically socal) so fixated upon appearances? because how am i supposed to compete if i'm not into that stuff. good thing i have jesus lol. 'cause beauty becomes wrinkles one day, and then we need to rely on our inner grace and loveliness that comes from jesus christ -- wapow, jesus wins 1-0. bam. KO.
i worded that awkwardly. :/
how do i ask for forgiveness if i feel like i'm always fighting -- like it's a glitchy default setting of my proud, proud heart to refuse to feel remorse? what am i supposed to do if that room in hallways of my heart has become icy & callused?
if i'm asking these questions, does that mean i'm doubting the power of the holy spirit?
largely rhetorical, but for the sake of my exasperation (& my amusement at myself), imma ask anyways -- why are children so shallow? in fact, why are we so shallow? the other day, a little girl at the park chose another girl to be her partner over me. i automatically assumed it was because the other girl was prettier. and then i mentally slapped myself for being retarded & even thinking that. because sometimes i can be stupid.
furthermore -- why is our culture (primarily american, specifically CA, even more specifically socal) so fixated upon appearances? because how am i supposed to compete if i'm not into that stuff. good thing i have jesus lol. 'cause beauty becomes wrinkles one day, and then we need to rely on our inner grace and loveliness that comes from jesus christ -- wapow, jesus wins 1-0. bam. KO.
haha oh eunice.. you ask good questions. :)
ReplyDeleteGod will lead us through life indeed, but we must also be actively pursuing Him and asking Him to help us make Him first in our lives because it is our sinful (mostly stemming from pride) inclination to drift from Him and put Him off at a distance. Going through trials and lessons with God by our side looks like us going to Him like a little kid constantly looking to his or her parent for comfort, for ranting, for questions, for being still before (because there is fullness of joy in His presence--Ps. 16:11), and etc.
we will forever be learning the answers to your questions in different life contexts :) and God is faithful to lead us to an answer of some sort.